When life takes over.

I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth, just my website and blog has. :( I have to apologize for letting my blog just fade away. It’s not that I don’t have beautiful weddings, sweet babies, couple’s, kids and other photo’s to share. I do and I will.

Shortly after jumping into wedding season last year I was shooting in Mexico, shooting two weddings and two beach sessions. After we finished up our last session early one morning I started having a hard time breathing. I had not been feeling well in the days prior and just figured it was the heat or possibly something I ate. But that morning it was BAD, and we were scheduled to fly out that afternoon. I got a hold of the airline and changed our flight’s to the next morning, I contacted the front desk and found out that the resort doctor was scheduled to come in at 9:00am but as the time passed I was getting worse, so we called a cab and heading into Cancun to a hospital they had recommended to us. I won’t bore you with too many of the crazy details, but about 20 minutes after being admitted they came in and told us they would be taking me in for emergency surgery as soon as the anesthesiologist arrived from another hospital. Apparently a few days before, my ovary had ruptured and I had been bleeding internally (the leaking blood was pushing up my organs into my lungs hence making my breathing so difficult) The surgery went smoothly and the doctors and nurses were amazing. Lots of funny stories because of some language barriers, them trying to speak English and my limited Spanish. The funniest story is me waking up in recovery totally doped up, both hands strapped down and I couldn’t see a thing, it was all blurry and I knew I had my eyes open but could just see blurry lights. A few hours later they put me in a room and finally let Grant come in, and there he found me with LARGE globs of Vaseline over my eyes. I had been certain that I was somehow blinded during surgery. We still laugh about that one.

And I can now say I’ve shot two weddings and two beach sessions while bleeding internally. Not too many wedding photographers have that badge of honor. :)

My recovery… well, there wasn’t much recovery, many of you know if you run your own business and when you are a photographer you cannot call in sick or send a replacement. So I jumped right back in less than two weeks after my major surgery. At the time I felt pretty good and thought I was doing OK. It just sucked the life out of me, all I could do over the next few months was shoot the weddings and then try to recoup before the next one. By the time I ended my busy season in September, I was exhausted.

All during that time my Grandmother who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was gradually getting worse and suffering mini strokes so I had been trying to get out to Phoenix as much as possible to spend time with her. Grant also took a job in Nevada in July, so after I finished up weddings and sessions I had booked, I packed up our home and, in November with my Mom and her Expedition packed to the brim, we headed out across the country. The plan was to go to Phoenix, see my Gram and Grant would come down and get me and our stuff to take up to Vegas. After being in Phoenix for a few days, my Gram suffered another stroke, it was not a mini stroke. She had suffered a similar one like that previously in August and after taking her to the hospital at that time, the family had decided along with my Gram and her Doctor, no more hospitals. Because of her illness the hospitals were extra scary for her and there was nothing that could be done there that we could not do for her at home. She had always stated clearly that she did not want to be in a care home and never wanted to be kept alive artificially. So around midnight one night in November, my Mom, cousin and I sat around my Gram’s kitchen table and met with a Hospice liaison. I really cannot say enough about how great Hospice is, they guided us through so many rough spots and we did a better job taking care of my Gram because of them. I will never regret the time I got to share with my Gram, my Mom and my sweet cousin Danna. My cousin was my Gram’s full time care giver when she started getting worse, but it is not a job you can do alone. My Mom and I set up bed’s in the family room and along with help from my Uncle Dave, Aunt Linda, Aunt Terry and my cousin Steph, we were with her 24/7.  I’ll never be able to express what it means to me to have been able to share in last four months of my Gram’s life, the joy and laughter, the quiet times sitting by her bed as she rested, the tears and heartbreak to have to say goodbye. My Gram was so amazing, always so positive, worried about others just such a sweet soul and I know I’ll be a better person to try to follow her example. I know we did our best and we did what she wanted, to stay in her home, to be in her room, to see her wall paper and her kitties, to be near her family. My Gram passed away in her sleep early in the morning  of February 16th 2011, her 85th birthday.

I miss her, we all miss her….and that’s where I’ve been, working, living, moving,  running, healing, crying, laughing and  trying to slowly get myself back together to settle into a life in Nevada, just Grant and I, no friends and no family close. It’s been hard and I’ll continue to adjust, I’ve already been back to Missouri once and I’m taking another trip there in a few weeks.

I plan on getting back into sharing some beautiful weddings and blogging about random thoughts and images.

4 Responses to “When life takes over.”

  1. Jane says:

    Wow….. No one could have aaid all that better. I love you and your strength… what a year

  2. Danna says:

    Great blog- I so agree. We are so lucky to have had such a beautiful lady in our life! What a joy it was to take care of her. She made it so easy for us because her sweet nature. She was so precious to so many people because of the loving, caring, and generous person she was. It was an honor to take care of her and I thank God everyday that he gave us the priviledge to do so. I will cherish those memories forever! Love to all my family and friends!! Love you so much my special Tamm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Steph says:

    You are such a strong and amazing woman!! I hope you will find a bit of time for just yourself…sending lots of love and hugs!

  4. Kip Wurster says:

    Love your blog!

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